Written by Kathy Fauble, Professional Education Services Director, and Liz Swanson, Assistant Director
I saw this life-changing quote over the weekend and I thought I would share this free advice with you. Wait for it…… it will blow your mind! “You can’t believe everything you think!” Believing in that simple phrase could change your world when you really embrace the concept.
What do I mean by that? Nancy Colier, LCSW, is quoted in Psychology Today saying, “The average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are the same repetitive thoughts as the day before.” This means that the average person is managing somewhere around 9,000-40,000 negative thoughts in a day. Running through your head is everything from my thighs are too fat, to my hair is too thin, to I am an idiot!
Don't Let the Battlefield Destroy You.
The crisis and battle going on in our own minds is epic. Negative thought patterns are the nuclear bombs in our minds that can destroy our personal and professional life. The battlefield is littered with the carnage of failed relationships, low self-esteem, problems in the workplace, and problems with our health. As a manager and leader not only do you have your own rubbish to work through you have to help those on your team work through their own rubbish. Human relationships are complex and complicated but the only real thing that matters in the end.
If you are looking for a way to break the cycle of negative thoughts, I challenge you to stop and pause and ask yourself if you would say the same things to a friend. If the answer is no, ask yourself why you think it’s tolerable to say it to yourself. This is a great way to check-in and determine if you’re treating yourself with kindness. I know it sounds simple and kind of hokey, but once I started using emotional intelligence in all parts of my life and stopped believing the stories in my head, life became a lot more enjoyable.
Be a Goldfish.
Last year I powered watched Ted Lasso on Apple TV. I won’t bore you with the details of the show, but Ted takes a job in the UK as a soccer coach, he understands American football but has never even watched a soccer match. Ted is an eternal optimist and here is one of my favorite Ted Lasso quotes, “You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It's a goldfish. You know why? It's got a 10-second memory. Be a goldfish.”